Dear purse snatchers,

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Us: the couple sitting on the bench in the botanical garden reading our books and enjoying the beautiful day for a couple of hours.

You: the band of 2 women and one guy that welcomed us to Buenos Aires by teaching us to be a little bit more careful with our belongings when in public spaces.

We were a bit confused, but also flattered when you asked us for directions to Plaza Seranno in english despite obviously being locals.  Of course, we were more than happy to share our map with you while your friend snuck up behind our bench and grabbed Jen’s purse in order to show us how important it is to keep a close watch on our valuables.

I’m writing to thank you for providing this valuable public service on behalf of the city of Buenos Aires–it was tremendously helpful to us and we have been much more careful since.  Some people might mistakenly think that you were actually trying to steal Jen’s purse for real (and to be honest, we wondered about it as well for awhile), but upon further inspection, there are several indicators which make it clear that you had no intention of actually making off with her purse:

  1. The park itself: Given that the Botanical Garden is surrounded by a tall fence, has few hiding spots and has only 2 exits which are staffed by guards, it would obviously be almost impossible to steal something from someone and make a get away unless you were EXTREMELY fast or very sneaky.
  2. Timing/location within park: Clearly,  if you had actually wanted to succeed you would have targeted your victims at night in the dark, or at least in a secluded part of the park, or at least somewhere where there weren’t other people nearby.  The fact that you went out of your way to choose us at our bench in broad daylight with multiple other benches full of people not only nearby (~10 feet), but also directly facing us is a pretty clear indicator of your intentions.
  3. Resource deployment: Your band of pretend-thieves/BsAs-tourist-safety-officers consisted of 2 young and athletic looking folks (a guy and a girl) and one very overweight woman (for the purpose of the story, we’ll call her Helga).  The fact that the 2 of you that looked as though you could run quite fast (we’ll call you Speedy and Smarty) were the two that tried to distract us from the purse by asking us directions while appointing Helga to grab it and take off “running” is probably the strongest indicator of your intentions.

When the people sitting at the bench 10 feet away suddenly yelled “THIEF!!” and pointed at our bench as we were showing Speedy and Smarty our map, we were very confused, scared and quickly becoming angry as we turned to see Helga running off with Jen’s purse.   Of course, it quickly turned from fear/anger to pure confusion as we watched Helga waddle along at her top speed of 1.3 MPH away from us down the main path in the direction of several other passersby and away from any discernible exit or escape (given the tall fence and guards and all).  Given Helga’s impressive land speed, we actually had quite a bit of time to consider what our next move should be…

As I turned around and saw Helga ambling off (which was almost hypnotic), my thought process was something like the following:

“Hey!!”

…

“What the…?”

…

“I should chase her…”

But then it occurred to me that this must have been a trick–I’m ashamed to admit that I briefly thought that maybe Helga was just a diversion since even in the heat of the moment it was clear that there was no possible way that she could successfully run off with anything; Speedy and Smarty, please accept my apologies for briefly thinking that you may have been deploying some sort of clever double fake-out plan–clearly that’s not something you’d be capable of (you being city safety officers and all).  My thoughts continued:

“It’s got to be a trick, they want me to follow her…”

…

“Yeah, that’s it, they want me to chase her down so they can take something else…”

…

“Ha! I’m smarter than them, they won’t trick me”

…

“Wow, she’s really slow”

…

“Wait, what else could they want to take…?  We don’t have anything else with us.”

…

“Wow, I’ve been standing here thinking about this for a long time now and I could still catch her in under 5 seconds…”

…

“Maybe this is some sort of hidden camera video show…”

My musings were abruptly halted as Helga–having completed her part of the plan in showing us that the purse was steal-able, and also making it obvious that she wasn’t really trying to steal it–simply put the purse on the ground a short distance away from the bench and kept on lumbering away (still at top speed).  Jen retrieved the purse and we had plenty of time to look through it to make sure everything was still there while keeping an eye on Helga and having confidence that we could still catch her if need be.  Speedy and Smarty were nowhere to be found at this point, but I can only assume that they had moved on to the next group of tourists they needed to welcome for the day.

Thank you again for your help.  Simply reading about other people’s experience with pick-pockets and the like does not nearly have the same effect as having experienced this simulated theft that you performed for us.  Best of luck with your future demonstrations, please let us know if we can put in a good word with any of your supervisors–I’m sure they would be very interested to hear how effectively you are performing your duties.  I’ve included the below picture of me sitting on the bench just before the demonstration took place in case you don’t remember us:

Purse Demonstration Diagram Image

All the best,

Ryan and Jen

(this happened a few weeks ago, but I figured it was about time I wrote it up)

Grilled cheese, please

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When I say grilled cheese, what comes to mind?  Maybe a gooey toasted sandwich on Wonder bread with melted Kraft singles . . . maybe a diner-style sandwich on a hearty country loaf with classic cheddar?  Ask for “grilled cheese” in Buenos Aires, and that’s exactly what you’ll get – a slab of grilled Provolone cheese locally called a “Provoleta”.    Yum.

Grilled cheese (aka Provoleta) imageWe had heard about this enticing inclusion on the Argentina parrilla menu, otherwise dominated by beef, beef and more beef (and the token chicken or pork option).  Can we really order a massive piece of cheese that’s been sliced thick and thrown on the grill?  Seems so decadent and outrageous, but we figured that if we could quit our jobs, get married and move to the other hemisphere all in a matter of weeks, we should be able to handle this.  And turns out, we did just fine – a nice crust on the bottom and ooey gooey bubbling goodness on top – yum!  We’re not saying we’re going to order this as our main dish anytime soon . . . but on the other hand, we’re not saying we won’t either.

Questions that need answering: Why do the buses whistle?

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Seriously, they whistle.

Not only are there literally thousands of them (we have seen 10+ on the same block at the same time);  not only do they aim directly for you whenever possible; not only do they emit disgusting exhaust fumes, not only are their engines extremely loud; but on top of all that, some ass clown thought it would be a good idea to make them whistle at you.  All the time.  Day and Night.  Loudly.  Why???  I want to know WHY.

Buenos Aires Bus Image

Every one is a different color, but they all whistle the same. By which I mean annoyingly.

Google turned up the following result which provides a very good overview of the bus situation:

“Concerning Argentine Buses (or: Why I love it here)”

I’m going to digress for a moment to explain how the buses work here. First, you have your “Guia T.” This is a two part booklet, the first part being a map of Buenos Aires that is divided into grids. Opposite of the grids are corresponding boxes that contain a list of every bus that passes through that

grid of the city. These maps, however, do not tell you where these buses stop in the grid, just that they do. You then use your Guia T to look for a bus that passes through the part of the city you’re currently in and through where you’re going. Then you search the physical 4 block by 4 block square that is that grid in order to find the elusive bus stop. The signs are small and the buses will really stop anywhere. For most “portenos” (Buenos Aires residents, or “people of the port”) this is do-able. (?!?!?) If you, poor soul, need more help the second part of the Guia T includes a list of each bus’s main neighborhood stops with a drawing of the bus, which is necessary because all the buses are painted different bright colors to distinguish them.
So, to recap: hidden bus stops, unclear routes, confusing maps and buses that look like they belong on carousels. And if the driver tells you “Arriba” while you’re getting on you better get the hell on because that roughly translates to “I’m shutting the door now and driving wildly into traffic whether you are standing there or not” in Castellano. (Castellano being the Buenos Aires specific brand of Spanish).

Note: These buses whistle. No, not like a train whistle. A human whistle. These buses, should you look lost at a street corner anywhere in Buenos Aires, will good ol’ fashion greasy-construction-worker-at-a pretty-lady whistle at you to let you know, “Hey, baby, I know where you could be going. With me.”

I think that sums things up fairly well.  You may think I’m kidding about this, but I would never kid about whistling buses.

Whistle Image

I can hear one outside my window now. Why.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon?  If so, please do so in the comments!

Miranda: Top quality lunch at a great price!

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Success!!  I think we’ve mentioned in some of our other posts that our dining experience in Buenos Aires has been a bit hit-or-miss thus far.  We’ve been to a few restaurants that are great, and just as many that are mediocre (as well as one or two we wouldn’t let our dog eat at, if we had one).

Today, after a long morning of getting our heads back into Spanish class after a weekend off, we were starving and headed over to Palermo Hollywood to check out a Mexican restaurant we’d heard was good (Taco Box – it was closed, so we’ll have to give it a try another time).  By the time we walked the 30 minutes there from our school, we were starving and quickly ran into Miranda.  Every table on the sidewalk was full, and they had a decent lunch special, so we thought we’d check it out.

Miranda entrance image

Our server initially only gave us the regular menu (which didn’t include the special lunch set menu) – not sure if this is because he was trying to up-sell us or because it’s the only menu in English – we’re giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming the latter.  Once we asked for the daily menu, it took us no time at all to choose from the multiple options offered (did I mention that we were starving?).  We each had impressive appetizers (yay chorizo!), big main plates (chicken and veggie skewers for me, steak sandwich for Ryan), drinks and coffees for 90 pesos (~$23 US), including tip.  Just to put that in perspective, one of the aforementioned restaurants we wouldn’t let our dog eat at cost us closer to 150 pesos (~$40 US) – granted, that was dinner, but Miranda was far better in terms of ambience, food quality and service.

All in, Miranda is a winner in our book.  We’ll definitely be back again to take advantage of their great lunch deal and plan to put it in our dinner rotation as well!

Tip for learning spanish #1: Take your wine home!

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Perhaps the best tip ever:

Podríamos tomar el vino para llevar?

=

Can we take the wine to go?

And the answer… YES!!!

Que Fantastico!!!

Wine Bottle Image

These probably cost only $2. Total. Viva!!

Yes… in Argentina, you can order a super cheap yet awesome bottle of wine at a restaurant, drink half and then take the rest home for later.  We are building a large collection of half full bottles

!Viva Argentina!

How to rent an apartment in Buenos Aires

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We finally found a great new short-term apartment here in Buenos Aires. Finding the right short-term rental is far more complex than you might think, so read on for our reviews of all the agencies we worked with and a very important list of tips/tricks to make sure you get a good place and don’t get taken.

Yesterday we finally agreed on a new apartment.  Even though we didn’t decide until 3:30pm yesterday, the gang at ApartmentsBA were able to let us move in at 5:20pm which was pretty awesome.  The apartment isn’t perfect–it could use some more light and we wish we had a patio and a dining table–but it is huge, has a great kitchen is in a perfect location in the heart of Recoleta and perhaps most importantly, it has a king sized bed!  Most of the beds down here are tiny double beds and while Jen and I like each other, it hasn’t been so much fun waking up every time the other person moves for the last 2 weeks 🙂  Pictures of our new place down below.

Before the pictures of our new place, we thought we’d give a little bit of an overview of the process we went through to find this place and some brief reviews of the agencies we worked with and some general tips/tricks.

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Random observations on Buenos Aires

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Some early observations from our experience so far in Buenos Aires – to be added to periodically:
  • They love their dogs.  We’ve never seen a major city with so many dogs (as pets, not strays), especially so many big dogs.  Seems that the favorite breeds here are golden retrievers, boxers, labs.  There are some small dogs, but not nearly as many as in San Francisco (thankfully).  They’re all exceptionally well-behaved – many aren’t even on leashes and just trot along right next to their owners.  They don’t chase after other dogs or even seem to have interest in people other than their owners (for example, me – who wants to pet every single one of them).  Very impressive obedience training.  And the dog walkers are all power-walkers with 8-10 dogs on average.
  • A consequence of the plethora of dogs is the “dogpiles” on the sidewalks – everywhere.  Apparently it’s not a norm to pick up after your dog . . .
  • Everything starts late here.  Tonight (Sunday) we went out to grab a quick dinner and get to bed early before getting up at an ungodly hour (read: before 11am) to start Spanish classes tomorrow.  The Mexican restaurant we wanted to go to was empty when we walked by – we thought maybe they were closing, until we overheard them telling another couple that they didn’t open for another half hour. At 8:30 on Sunday night.  Wow.
  • There’s graffiti everywhere.  Everywhere.  On the sides of buildings in our (quite upscale) neighborhood.  On the walls of the cafe where we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast the other day.  On the bases of statues in the city parks.  They’ve had to fence in some of important monuments and statues to prevent them from being graffitied.
  • Perhaps offsetting the last observation, there are trees everywhere.  We are currently living in Palermo Soho, right near a number of the city’s parks, which are all wonderfully green.  But even walking around exploring different neighborhoods and wandering down random streets, they’re all lined with trees (see our pics).
  • Most of the aforementioned city parks are fenced in.  For example, the park that was the site of the attempted purse snatching is completely fenced in, with only two entrances/exits.  Seems like that might make it less than ideal for an illegal grab-and-run operation . . .  We’ve come across one park so far that’s not surrounded by a fence – beautiful Las Heras Park.  Haven’t yet figured out what necessitates the fences at all the other parks – let us know if you have insights here.
  • Cheap wine can be good wine.  We ordered a half bottle of Malbec at dinner tonight and paid ~$4 . . . at a restaurant . . . and it was good.  Seriously.  Given the amount of wine we drink, we may well save a few hundred dollars a month on wine alone vs. what we would be paying at home!

Our first tango show (and lessons!)

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To mark our one-week anniversary as porteños, we decided to get our first exposure to the sensual dance that started right here in Buenos Aires – tango.  Our language school recommended Complejo Tango (which offers an evening of “lessons”, dinner and a show for ~US$60/person), so we got all dressed up and headed out across town to the theater.  We were a bit surprised to arrive right on time for the lessons and find only 4 other people there. The room slowly filled up as the buses sent to pick up tourists from all the hotels in town arrived, and we started half an hour late (not bad for Latin America!).  We quickly learned one basic step and then practiced while trying not to step on the toes of all the other tourists crammed into the tiny dance studio.  While we’re hardly pros now, it was fun to get a taste of what dancing the tango might be like, and we’re hoping to try out real lessons once we get settled into a routine here.

We were highly skeptical of the food that would be served in a small theater prior to the show, but we were pleasantly surprised.  As we’ve noted in previous posts, our food experience has been somewhat hit-or-miss so far.  But this easily ranked in the top half of dinners we’ve had thus far- and the endless wine helped too!  The show was entertaining – walked the audience through the evolution of tango over the last century, using different costumes for each period.  The live band was a nice touch, and while we heard a bit too much from the lounge singer between dances, the dancers were incredible and solidified our resolve to learn to tango while we’re here.

Argentine tango dancers image

Argentine tango involves dramatic costumes and a lot of leg

While this definitely had the potential to be a cheezy tourist trap, all in all it was a fun introduction to tango and a good evening out.  Next, it’s off to the milongas!